What will she have in store?

There was a time a couple years back that I wondered if an adopted child would really be as near and dear to me as a biological one. To be honest, I had my doubts that it would even come close, even if a relationship evolved under the best of circumstances. That was one of the more heavy steps of faith that I've come across, even in the early times of this process.

I can say though, that even starting early, there are sometimes where I feel tremendously close to this child, even without knowing her. Many times, I will catch myself in the thought that there is someone someplace that is bound to be part of our family, and that she is, even right now, having to endure even a short period without one. New motivations blossom from such thoughts, and understanding them makes it easier to weigh the load of anticipation.

Michelle has inspired me with a habit that she has. From time to time throughout the day, she will stop and briefly pray for that new person in our family. We don't know who she is, but there is still a connection. I remember the times that Michelle was pregnant with the boys and the anticipation that grew throughout each term.

The anticipation, though in somewhat different form, is equally present in adoption. I wonder "How will I be at fathering a daughter?" and "What will she like or not like?" or "What unique things will characterize this little person?". Our family landscape will change simply with the addition of another young life.

On a less serious note, the bedroom is almost fully enclosed. I feel sorry for Michelle, as the room is their classroom and I feel like I'm pushing them out of the room from time to time. But, her and the boys take it gracefully, and I thank them (cleaning the drywall dust off the floor).

Ok...all for now...will post later.

- Bill