Gotcha Day

Today we are celebrating Gotcha Day! It's very exciting to look over the past year and see God's hand upon all of us. Especially Miss Nina-Li. I cannot tell you how important every prayer has been. Every kind word. Every protective gesture another mother has acted upon. Everyone that has touched Nina's life has just been a blessing each day.

One year ago, Nina-Li didn't speak English. Not a word. She could only draw circles and scribbles. She couldn't use scissors. Didn't know how to tell time (even in Chinese). Her hair was oh so short. She was scared, quiet, and 'developmentally' behind. She mostly ate congee, which is a rice soup. She had one close friend in China, Jing Jing, who was adopted almost 3 months before Nina-Li. Once Jing Jing was gone, she was lonely. (We are happy that we know where she lives and how to contact her. Maybe someday we will get to go see her.) Today, she is an American. She loves french fries and Sprite. She giggles and laughs all the time. She loves trying things new. She will usually try almost anything once (other than touching toads and snakes). She has an incredible circle of friends. And I want to thank Elizabeth and Addison in particular for being patient those first few months while Nina-Li was learning English. They would just sit and play quietly with her. I guess playing with dolls is a universal language.

Nina is incredibly friendly and will strike up a conversation with anyone. She is reading and learning sight words. She can count to 100, learning to add, knows how to tell time and enjoys Science. The hardest subject for her is history. I believe it is because she doesn't have a foundation of what the past is. She's never heard anyone talk about when they were little, or about 'a long time ago...'. At least that is my hypothesis. She is writing, and coloring, and drawing. I love her drawings, of big eyes, huge mouths and high heels. Sometimes she even adds eyelashes to the details.

She loves to paint and use scissors, help me cook, play dress-up and do all things girly. Because she missed out on sooo much she enjoys doing anything that a 3 year old would do up to a normal 8 year old.

Nina has gotten to experience life for the first time. From seeing rainbows and feeling the wind blow in her hair to running through grass barefoot, it has all been new to her. Most of her life was spent in a tall building with bars on the windows and smog filled skies that blocked the sun. Her world has indeed changed.

All of us have changed. I have an even fuller schedule than ever before. Bill and I have both learned that patience is a virtue we both need to increase. The boys are incredible with Nina. They love playing with her. From tea parties to wrestling they have done it all. They are both protective of her and seem to have filled the 'big brother' roles quite well in her life. Bill has learned that little girls are a lot different than little boys. All of us have enjoyed the sparkly life full of grace that has entered our home. I too have learned that I need to be a little more patient with Nina. I've also gone from two independent sons, to a little girl that needs a lot of time and attention. At times it is exhausting. However, my family has been great at helping me out. Our friends who have touched Nina's life have just been what we all needed. The Lovell's and Rutherford's have been so gracious. Denise has been a 2nd mom at times. Nina-Li will talk openly about China. She wants to go back some day for a visit. She'll tell me stories that will break your heart. She recognizes that she did not have a mommy or daddy in China. She told me of a time (that I have no records of) that she was in the hospital and had an I.V. in her arm. She said "I was very brave mommy. But I cried. I was scared. I had no mommy, nobody with me." I promised her then that if she ever had to go into the hospital again, she would have a mommy with her at all times. Once she shared another story about her nanny opening the window during the night and it was cold. She had no sheets or blankets. Other times she will tell me about her nanny taking her to school or home to play. She isn't bitter, just kind of matter-of-fact. One time about 2 months after Nina got home, I was getting frustrated. She follows me a lot around the house. And I had a very strong vision of her mother standing behind me. Telling me that she trusted me with her child and needs me to be the other she couldn't be for Nina. I will never forget that. I don't know what Nina's past is. But I truly believe after that, that Nina's mother loved her more than I can fathom. Isn't it the ultimate love? To recognize that your child needs more than you can give them. To sacrifice them in hopes that they will go to America and have something better. I cannot imagine the pain a mother feels after loving a child for two years to abandon her. Many times we question who could do such a thing. But, could it possibly be that she did it because she knew it was best for her daughter? She could have done something much worse that abandonment and gotten away with it possibly. I don't know. Whatever the true story is, we will never know. But, I do believe that Nina was loved beyond measure. Due to her ability to love. She was nurtured and cared for very well the first 7 years of her life. That has helped her bond to us. There is an excellent fiction book about a child from India called "Secret Daughter". Everyone I have recommended it to has enjoyed it. Nina-Li loves going to church. There is a teenage girl at our church, Kylee, who befriended Nina and helped her feel comfortable in class. We began her in the pre-school class, but now she is in the class with kids her age. Kylee was a huge blessing to Nina and helping her adjust. Many of the girls in the youth group are so kind to Nina and made her feel so important. Nina knows that she was a big present God gave us. And that mommy and daddy prayed for a little girl. That he told us he has a special little girl all the way in China that is just right for our family. And she certainly is. She is a McNay all the way and has adapted so well. Nina could be the poster child for older child adoptions. If all adoptions went as smooth as this, everyone would do it. As wonderful as it has gone we know we will have challenges, just like we do with our own biological sons. Nina will probably always struggle with self-esteem. Someday she will question how she got where she is and why. Right now she should be in 2nd grade, I am homeschooling her in first grade. Somethings she does remarkably well in, others she is a bit behind. It will take time to get her caught up. I am working hard to make sure she has a strong foundation of reading and writing and numbers. My mom helps me homeschool the three kids. Which gives me some flexibility. I believe that because we homeschool it has helped Nina feel loved and safe. Adopting a 7 year old girl, bringing her a foreign land, and sending her off to a school of strangers just wasn't an option for me. Even if we weren't a homeschool family, I believe it is something all families should consider to do briefly if adopting an older child. Not only has she bonded well with us and adjusted well. Her language development is incredible. Speaking of language, Nina is full English now. 3 months after she came, she asked me not to speak in Chinese anymore. 4 months after she came, she refused to speak Chinese. We now have her in Chinese to help her retain it. Not sure if she will hold onto it or not. As much as we want her to, I don't know what she'll do. She doesn't speak Chinese, but she says she understands it when she hears it. She cannot interpret it. But that is a huge brain function that is difficult to do. I now I have probably spewed a lot out in random order. So many of you have asked and been so caring. Thank you for your kind words, prayer and support. We are incredibly thankful for all three of our kids. And are amazed at God's remarkable ability to bring that one little girl amongst the millions in China to our little midwest family.

All Things New

Do you remember the pure joy you felt as a child? Maybe it was rolling in the grass, looking at the clouds above and the deepness of the vast blue sky. Maybe you felt it when you were attempting aviation with nothing more than a string and trash bag and you finally got it up in the air. Sometimes, if we are lucky we get to experience that again with our kids. However, even that seems to wear off at times. Having a third opportunity to re-live pure joy, how incredible it has been.
Nina-Li giggled when she felt the wind blow her hair for the first time. Not because she's never felt wind. Because her hair was never long enough to tickle her face. She was elated walking home from one friends house holding hands of two other friends. The simple joy of companionship was bursting from her soul.


Last Sunday for the first time, Nina woke-up crying from a bad dream. I went into her room and she leapt into my arms. Squeezing me so tight. We snuggled in my bed and she insured that my arms were wrapped around her until a bad memory was blotted out with joy once again. As she told a few others of the event, she never mentioned what the dream was about. She told them of her tears and that mommy came in and hugged her. I love the picture above. This was taken at the homeschool Valentine Party. The girls were all singing Ring Around the Rosie. Nina-Li hasn't learned the words to this song, but that didn't get to her. What does she do? She hops in the middle, and belly laughter of JOY comes bubbling out of her.
Do you ever hear those stories of how someone was wrongly accused and sentenced to prison, only to be free years later? Or someone lived in a coma for months or years and finally 'woke-up' one day?
EVERYTHING is NEW again.
This kind of joy, pure joy, is what I see in Nina-Li every single day. The life that is bubbling out of her is certainly a challenge to me and my faith. She is the living, breathing story of our salvation. Through Christ, the old is gone, the new has come. There's no looking back, there's no longing for the things of old again. I wish I had better words to describe the transformation that I have witnessed in Nina-Li's life. To say it is a blessing is putting it mildly. It is life changing. To close, I'd like to leave the words to Steven Curtis Chapman's song: You Make All Things New

You spoke and made the sunrise, to light up the very first day
You breathed across the water, and started the very first wave
It was You
You intoduced Your glory, to every living creature on earth
And they started singing, the first song to ever be heard
They sang for You

You make all things new
You make all things new

Then the world was broken, fallen and battered and scarred
You took the hopeless, the life, wasted, ruined and marred
And made it new

You make all things new
You make all things new
You redeem and You transform
You renew and You restore
You make all things new
You make all things new
And forever we will watch and worship You

You turn winter into spring
You take every living thing
And You breathe Your breath of life into it over and over again

You made the sunrise, day after day after day
But there's a morning coming, when old things will all pass away
And everyone will see

You make all things new
You make all things new
Come redeem and come transform
Come renew and come restore
You make all things new
You make all things new
And forever we will watch and worship You

Now and forever You are making all things new
You're making all things new

Hallelujah...

Memories are Coming Out

Nina-Li has been with us for three months. The past week she has been rejecting me speaking to her in Chinese. She tells me so 'bu dong, bu dong, I don't know.' bu dong means I don't understand. This is a normal part of international adoption. I don't know if she is foregoing her knowledge of Chinese. She still sings and listens to her Chinese CD's. But, she wants to know, understand, speak and be spoken to in English.
Yesterday, February 8th a couple of memories came out. I want to document them, just so I don't forget. We were looking at pictures of her in pre-school in China. Nina-Li remembered that her teacher's name was Lovey and sometimes Lovey took her to school. The other memory kind of saddened me a bit. I was tucking her in at night. She is obsessed right now with warmer weather, she wants it (don't we all). She asked if when it is warm if we can open her windows. She told me that her Ayi (pronounced I.E. which was her nanny)would open the windows at night when she was sleeping and she would be cold. She asked me what her sheet & blanket were called. After I told her she explained to me that she had no sheets and no blanket. That she said 'ayi it is cold'. I have seen a few pictures of her bed at the orphanage with no sheets or blankets. Just a mattress. I assumed that maybe they took them off daily to clean. However, now I wonder if she really didn't have those things. I used the opportunity to celebrate what she does have. She said her sheets and blanket are pretty. And then we talked about her room, and what mommy made, what daddy built, who bought what, etc. All because we love her. That helped her go to sleep on a happy note.

3 Months!

Hello! So many of you have been asking how Nina-Li is doing and shared with us how you followed our blog. It is such a blessing to know that so many care. Not only for us and specifically Nina-Li. But that so many are so supportive of the adoption process.
If Bill and I went to China, interviewed, played and hung-out with every child in the orphanage could we have chosen a better child to fit into our family than Nina-Li? She is truly a gift from heaven. Not only for us, but for those of you who are in our lives and have met her. She is a gift of joy and happiness. Reminding us to simply laugh at life and not take things so seriously. Which is easy for Bill and I to do right now.
The descriptions we received of Nina-Li always emphasized how quiet she was. That she didn't talk much and stayed to herself. It's as if she arrived and said "I can finally live the life I have dreamt of!" Everyday is filled with giggles of joy. There's no other way to describe it.

She adores her brothers. She loves running,chasing, hiding, climbing and tickling with them. She can be just as loud as they. Nina probably has the hardest time being separate from them if they leave. However, we have seen great improvements in that area. Last weekend, Dakota spent the night at a friends. She understood he was leaving, when he was coming back, and where he was going. It went very well. Nina-Li really likes to know where everyone is if someone is gone, or even in another room. However, she doesn't obsess over it. This is very common for adopted children.



Christmas was a dream come true for her. A few days before Christmas, Dakota told her Santa was coming. She was astonished! She couldn't believe that Santa was really coming this year, and that he was going to bring her something. Seeing Christmas for the first time through a 7 year olds eyes is magical.
Nina-Li is doing great with her language development. There are some sounds that are difficult to make. However, I couldn't be more pleased with her communication skills. And she understands us probably 90% of the time. My neighbor, Donna, got her the Leap Frog Letter Factory video. With many of the letters she knows their sounds before the name of the actually letter. So, that will help her tremendously with reading.


Nina has loved the snow. She'll go out there for hours with the kids and play. The day after the first really big snow she was outside for 3 hours! Loved it!
Many of you have asked how she likes her room. Well, she is just now noticing it. I know that sounds strange. However, it has been in the past couple of weeks she'll sit in bed at night and tell me what she likes about her room and how pretty it is. I told her that her daddy worked really hard to make it just for her. I told her what he built and painted. What I made for her. And she got it. It made her feel really good.
As far as school she is doing well. I am educating her as if she were in pre-k. Because no matter what she knew in China, she has to relearn it all in English. Her biggest struggle is with fine motor skills. However, she has come a long way. Her coloring, cutting, writing 3 months ago was that of a 2 year old. She can cut, draw simple shapes, & color very well (in the lines mostly). However, what I think is fun is her coloring style. Last week she was coloring an elephant. Well, her elephant was a striped elephant. Very impressive indeed! Nina is getting simple math concepts very well. Once she is able to identify numbers we will begin simple addition and subtraction.

I'm trying to remember all the questions people ask, so that I don't leave a stoned unturned. Food she is great with. I believe her diet mostly consisted of rice, fish and fresh fruits. I haven't given her much fish. Well, we could tell that because of her hair. When we first got her and I would give her baths, it was as if her hair wouldn't absorb water. It was so shiny and beautiful. Well, I'm not seafoods biggest fan, and it's isn't as easy to come by here as it was in China along the southern coast where she's from. Her hair is still beautiful black. However, not as shiny. So, I decided I needed to get her back on fish. I made it the other night and she loved it. Yeah! She really loves meat. There hasn't been much she turns down. Her favorite food is Gingaby. Oh, you don't know what gingaby is? Why french fries of course. No, you don't say french fries in Chinese that way. It is her own little word that she created trying to say 'french fries'. The 'f' sound is difficult for her to pronounce.
Nina is making friends and loves getting out. We went to Coco Key last week and she had a great time. It helped that a few of our friends were there that she knew. She gets a little nervous in crowds, but she just clings a little more than anything.
We are planning on participating in a couple of the Chinese New Year activities here in Kansas City. She doesn't know it, but I am going to let her wear a Chinese dress we bought. It is beautiful. She's been begging me to let her wear it. And next Friday she is going to a daddy/daughter dance and gets to wear it again. She loves dressing up.
We have also found a few of her friends from the orphanage and know how to stay in contact with them. Her best friend we found too. Once she returns from a vacation we hope the girls can skype each other.
Thank you so much for your prayers, support, kind words and deeds. We are all grateful!

Lots of Firsts

Nina-Li has been a McNay for 5 weeks and in the United States for 3 weeks. We are overjoyed at how well things are going for our family. Nina-Li often looks at photos through-out the house that we have. And sometimes has asked where she is in photos. (We do have some of her up). And it saddened me to think that she doesn't have a history recorded in photos as the boys do. Through the past couple of weeks, I have discovered, that although we weren't there for all of her milestones, there are some that we are there with. And seeing them through a 7 year old's eyes is a lot of FUN!
Many of us took our kids to see Santa when they didn't even realize who was holding them. As the kids grow older, their excitement to see Santa doesn't diminish, but the 'first time' is gone. Well, Nina's first time to see Santa at 7, was something magical. Her eyes literally sparkled.

We've had several firsts:
First Snow
First Bowling
First Santa
First Restaurant (of course several in China)
First French Fries
First Pizza
You know, all the important stuff. And she's about to lose her first tooth.
Nina is progressing quite nicely with her vocabulary. Although quite boring, I am going to attempt to list the words she says in English for my own benefit.
Yes, No
Momma, Daddy, Dawson, Dakota, Grumpers, Rocky
Home
Let's Go
Night Night
Love you
Elizabeth, Addison, Mara, Sandra and Cody
Cold
Ice Cream
Noodles
Water
Ice
Hurry, Hurry
Ouch
I don't know
One, Two, Three
And most importantly: yummy, yucky and stinky. Those 3 words alone help us out a lot! There's probably a few more that I haven't listed.
She can repeat several words after us. These are the words I hear her choosing to say with out prompting.


Nina-Li still loves make-up and playing dress up. As you can see, she was getting ready to go out with mom to visit a few friends from COR last night.
Nina-Li in our lives has changed us all. It's added a little more fun and sweetness to our life. Dawson (who hasn't kissed me goodnight since he was 5) has become more affectionate. And literally 2 nights ago, I got a kiss goodnight. WOW! That blessed this mom. He kisses Nina-Li goodnight and tell her 'wo ai ni' I love you. The boys think Nina-Li is sweet and love complimenting her on her 'fancy' outfits. Bill is totally smitten over Nina-Li and we both sat down to play tea with her the other night. She has taught me to slow down and just enjoy some giggles, play dough and make-up every once in awhile. Although it is hard to slow down, now that I am homeschooling 3 kids.
Speaking of homeschool, it is a little difficult balancing 3 kids. But, we are managing. They just seem to all need me at once. Hmm? How does that happen? Nina is learning to recognize her name and the alphabet letters in her name. We are also learning colors, shapes, and counting to 5 and then 10. She is behind with fine motor skills, so we spend a lot of time strenthening those tiny fingers and developing coordination.
Nina continues to sleep in her room alone and now wants the curtains closed and all the lights off. Sometimes she has a hard time falling asleep.
I honestly couldn't ask for things to go better.
I was telling my friends I saw last night I am so thankful for the gifts we have received. From earrings to those rubber dolls, a lot of them I wouldn't have thought to get. Nor, have I had the time to go shopping for these girly things. I know I haven't gotten those thank you notes out yet. However, know how thankful I am. Everytime she pulls something out or wears an outfit someone gave, I think of the person who blessed us with it. And the Target gift cards came in handy too. I cannot believe how many tights, socks and shoes alone we have needed. And I still need a few more!
Thank you for your support. I am overwhelmed by the number of people who followed our journey and have been so supportive. I hope our story is a blessing to you. And maybe there will be one or two who will consider adopting also.
Love to you all!

What I am Most Thankful For

We haven't been home a full week. I am amazed at how much Nina-Li has adapted to our home and family. I hope to write an update this weekend sometime.
Thanksgiving Silliness:

Daddy is sooooo Talllll!

A Whole New World

Nina-Li has been our daughter and the boys sister for 3 weeks. She's been an American for 1 week. It has become a whole new world for all of us.
There are some things I am learning about sweet little girly girls like Nina-Li:
90% of Barbie time, is all about the hair. Taking the little rubberbands out, brushing, brushing, brushing, maybe getting it wet, and brushing some more.
Playing is a universal language. It doesn't matter to Nina-Li what language you speak, how old you are, or what you are wearing. She is thrilled to meet you and play with you.
Party dresses or tutus should be worn daily. Life is worth celebrating and why not dress-up for the occassion.
Princesses and Strawberry Shortcake have healing power. Cute band-aids make it all better really fast.
Princess costumes can and should be worn to bed. Why make it an issue? Certainly sweet dreams will flutter by through out the night when worn.
Having a friend brings joy.
I am amazed at the progress we have made in a week. Especially considering how things were in China. She holds my hand often and doesn't want me out of sight. Which is completely normal. However in China, could care less where I was or what I was doing. Bill and Nina-Li are growing closer each day. Nina-Li loves riding on her daddy's shoulders. We took a walk today and she was full of giggles, which we hear daily, A LOT!
Everything is new to Nina-Li. Things you wouldn't think of. Like cups with glitter that swirls around and ice cubes. We've gone from warm water to now 2 ice cubes per cup of water. Last evening she was totally fascinated with the printer and copier. We copied numerous coloring pages. I was tempted to show her how to copy her hand, but I thought we'd have a few dozen copies of hands all over the house if I did. One of the most fascinating things to Nina-Li is blue sky. The first night we arrived home it was 11 PM, and she got to bed at 2 AM. She woke up 14 hours later at 6 PM and then went to bed late that evening. When I tucked her in bed (which went flawlessly), she got out a picture of our home and pointed to her window and then to the blue sky. I assumed she wanted to know when she was going to see daylight. I told her tomorrow (mingtian) she would see day. Well, the next day was sufficient, but cloudy. The following day, she came in my room and said "mama, mama, kan, kan". Which is 'mom, look!' It was the blue sky. At least that is what Bill and I have determined. In China we had sunshine everyday, but no blue sky. Too much smog. The smog was thick enough hardly anyone wore sunglasses.
It is fun watching her discover new things each day. From food to toys. She loves shopping and going places. She is content at home but loves to go out.
We are so proud of our boys and how they have handled the entire situation. Their character really shown through, through out the event. Through all the tears in China, they never once complained. Were always willing to lend a hand, and tolerated Bill and I being a little edgy at times. They never questioned Nina-Li being their sister and have been incredible big brothers. As I shared on Facebook, Kota told my mom "The moment I saw Nina she hypnotized me and made me love her." Wow! Times like that you feel like you are doing something right. Praise God. I kind of wonder how God will use this event to mold our sons into the men they will be someday. I realize now how compassionate they are.
I mentioned earlier that Nina-Li has been going to bed flawlessly. It is common for institutionalized children to not want to sleep alone. She had her own bed, but shared rooms with other girls. However, in China, our guide asked her if she wanted anyone to sleep with her in her room and she said no. And she has done great.
There's a lot she has to learn, like prayer. Why do we hold hands and close our eyes before we eat? And homeschool will be an adventure. Considering she doesn't know English and has to learn all her colors, shapes, numbers, and English alphabet, I am pretty much going to pretend like she is 3. She is a sponge when it comes to learning, so I think we'll have fun as she discovers new things.
I cannot tell everyone how much their prayers have sustained us. Your support and love have been immeasurable. I have no idea how many followed our blog, and will even read this post. But, it is so comforting to know how much people care. We are simply two parents doing what God called us to do. It was written on my heart before Bill and I got married in honor of my mom, who was also adopted. Bill has been incredibly strong when I was weak, and vice versa. We have been each others sounding board and comfort.
I will continue to post every once in awhile the progress Nina-Li makes.
Love to you all.